It Must Be Illegal to Reeses and Drive
This evening, it was my turn to pick up number 16 from her ball game. Upon getting in the car, I put my phone into my purse to sway the temptation of looking at my phone. Of course its the time of day when it happily dings several melodies informing me of the important gossip of the interwebs that I miss during the work day.
As I come to the end of the street to make my turn, here comes one of the city’s finest. I didnt pay the sleeping blue lights much attention as it was going the opposite direction. (Unbeknownst to me, I should have known better, the dang cop turned so he could follow me on a later street. Duh…I live in Harlem, SC.) After he passed, I turned and went on my merry way. At some point between putting my phone in my purse and getting to the main road, I find a treasure in the same pocket my phone was supposed to occupy. I FOUND SOME REESES PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!! OMNOMNOM!!!!
As I come aound the bend on my way to the main road I see the same lovely cop come out of a side street. A fleeting moment of sarcasm voices itself in my head. “Aw….hes protecting da hood!” I arrive at the stop sign at the main road and attempt to open my Reeses. My Cal purchased these for me yesterday with the hot sauce money so they were sooo gonna be yummy. (Priorities. YES, he got his hot sauce too. Jeez, I am not going to revel I heaven at his loss. Dang! What do you take me for? I am not that big of a blitch!!!! Ayup…uh huh…you got it. Thats the digression. Hehehe) For some reason, it took me three tries to get these yummies out ofbthe package and on the third try only one slid out of the wrapper. Ugh….sublimely satisfied, I pull out into traffic in the main road. Wouldnt you know it…this cop pulls in behind me. Dammit. Now I have to drive the right way. With BOTH hands on the wheel, at ten and two and obey all traffic rules. This cop was running my tags and chit! Really? All because you seen me pull out of my own damn driveway at nine pm?! Oh yea, thats right virtuous people are not up to any good leaving their home at nine on a Monday night. Now the cop is pulling back off the tailpipe of my car while he waits for my tags to come back clean.
All the while, my reeses sits on my leg; taunting and teasing me. Why can I not enjoy my Reeses in peace! No. Absolutely NOT. I am certain by this time our friend the cop has discovered I actually live in the area I came from. Ya but cops have a flippen sense of humor and Mr. Blue Lights follows me all the way to the school. Oh yes. I grumbled as I turned into the school parking lot. The very sevond I pulled up to where number 16 was waiting, I attacked the Reeses for teasing me and was licking the chocolate off the wrapper. Yes! Finally! It. Was. So. Damn. Good.
But this rant is not over.
She opens the door and just stands there. She looked afraid. Like she was about to be bitten. I was like “Dood! Come on!” She simply points at the passenger seat. Oh. My wrapper. It had chocolate on it too. I snatched it up. Yum yum yum. Ok. There. I am done. She said “Hungry much?” I put the wrappers away and told her of our friend. Thinking about the whole scenario on the way home, I thought “Hrmm…my Reeses must be illegal.” I enjoyed my second Reeses on the way home. Number sixteen took great joy in graphically describing my plight with the chocolate cheese paper to her father. That is another rant but it included licking her iPod screen. Ick.
I just know that cop was disappointed he had no reason to stop me. Well, I drive to fight another day! 🙂
What do YOU think?