I just don’t know how to feel about that.

I woke up this morning and felt like a paraplegic. I must have laid wrong while sleeping (said because HOW can you sleep wrong if you are ASLEEP! You have done it right, yes?) because from the elbows down BOTH of my arms simply felt like they were not there. This occurs more frequently the older I get. I still want the world to know that you are only old when you reach the nice young age of 98. However, the journey there is something uncertain.

I often hear people complain about this thing and that thing “as they get older.” I assume that this is what they mean when they say “I am too old for this” and “you are only as old as you feel.” I used to think them silly sentiments. Now I wonder. To clarify, the jury is still out on that verdict.

Back to the issue at hand. Hehe. Did you see that? Did you see what I did there? I woke up with the lower part of my upper extremities totally numb and not listening to me. I tried to turn off the alarm with my phone and found I could not even pick up the damn thing. I did discover in my first awake stupor that I DID have feeling in my right pinky finger and it would listen to my commands. I kicked my phone from under the bed to the middle of the floor and used my pinky to swipe that stupid alarm off. (Being a writer, I thought that the alarm called “writing pages” was cute but I should have NEVER set it as an alarm because it makes my teeth hurt. However, it is appropriate because music does flow like that when you are writing and the page turn sounds just like that as well. Yea, I digressed, didn’t I?)

Now that I was in a semi upright position, you know, the sitting on the edge of the bed while you force reality to kick sleep out of your face, I had to have a conversation with my hands to make them work. They were stubborn and would not listen. I remember thinking they were like my children when pouting. It took nearly 4 minutes before I could get feeling back into my fingers! It was like THEY had to wake up too!  What is this? As you age, alien beings habitate in the shell of your body and choose to camp out in the part that starts to not cooperate with you? Is this what getting older is all about? I have to share my metaphysical space with beings that I will never get to know? Um, this is not anywhere in the fine print nor did I sign up for this. I thought I was told that, when I chose my vessel that I would be the sole captain and crew and it was mine only forever. Apparently, there was something in the terms of use that I failed to grasp. Now my vessel is doing things that I am not telling it to do and there are parts of it that are working improperly.

I thought that only occurred when you became “old.”

I am not certain I know how to feel about these phantoms removing the right to control my hands the way I see fit. I can’t just have them sit there and look pretty. I need them for my work! Ugh!

What do YOU think?


About emaylerocks

Work at home professional, author, wife, mother of many. I view the world in a slightly different way than the rest. They don't let me out much so I do have a lot of time to think. Speaking of that... What do YOU think?

Posted on December 15, 2014, in Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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