Momma said that needs a special tool or it just wont work.
My mother (Gosh bless her) will quickly tell you about her latest adventure which results in something that needs to be fixed. Mind you, she is very picky on the way she wants things fixed and will lovingly tell you what it is that needs such care and exactly how it is to be done. Even if she is wrong. All her life (well at least mine anyway) she has been like this and it drives some people bonkers.
She drives american made cars, she certainly lives in an american made home (because I REFUSE to say what it is even though our daughter drew a wonderfully accurate picture of it in kindergarten and we didn’t know it until she brought it home and I must say I was mortified and all the redneck jokes in the world would not make THAT better and yes this is a run on sentance and if i were talking it would be all in one breath….**Inhales** But I digress,) and she is a 100% american but every damn thing needs a “special tool.”
On the face of it, sometimes she is correct and sometimes you just humor her and get the damned wrench or hammer and beat the hell out of the thing. You scream that it is all like anything made in the rest of the world, that it is made in Taiwan. (Yup, movie reference, did you catch that?) Then, after some colorful language and inanimate object abuse, the thing works again. On a different note, I believe that it is her way of saying she wants the thing fixed but what YOU are telling her is in conflict with the precise way SHE wants it fixed and that instead of having you do it (which is what she really wants) she will go somewhere else. She will get someone else to fix it. Then she will come back and tell you exactly how the thing was fixed an lo and behold, it is just the way YOU said it in the first place but she came to that conclusion herself. I guess that is where I get the selfishness from. If you think about it in that light, that is pretty selfish. However, there is still a third LED color that we have to visit and it is something that I have come to realize over the past few months.
Back story time!
Growing up, my mother had a thing for vehicles made by Buick. She liked Oldsmobiles too but I think that was just cuz Dad liked them and they were easy to fix too. (Ayup, sometimes…..you needed a special tool.) But, Buick was her favorite. I remember because when I was a kid, her voice would change when she talked about one car type over the other. It was never “the truck” or “the station wagon.” She never mentioned “the white car” or “the little red car.” She referred to them by their semi proper names. “Doug, the Buick needs oil.” “Karen, drive the Ford today, I need the Oldsmobile to go to the WigWam.” Whatever mom. If that floats your boat. When she talked about “the Buick” it was almost like she would sing and rainbows would shoot out of her nose and unicorns sprang from her hair. I guess she loved “the Buick.”
Recently! 🙂 We purchased a Buick of our own. I must say, I DO like the Buick. It is one of my favorite colors and other than the few things we had to repair when we got it, it is a good car. (NEVER buy a new car, buy used and fix it yourself. Saves TONS!) I always have been Daddy’s girl and would go outside and million question my father when he was working on the cars. “What is that for?” “Why is that spewing that liquid?” “What would happen if you unscrewed that?” “Why are you doing this? Oh. THAT is why the car is making that noise.” I learned a lot from Daddy when he was under the hood of the car. Now, I do the same with my Cal. A lot of the basic stuff I already know and I like to believe I am in “intermediate elementary fix it yourself car school.” I even get to assist sometimes! I told you this because, with the Buick, I have discovered something. THERE ARE SPECIAL TOOLS THAT ARE NEEDED! Yea, that was a hard conclusion for me. This car actually needs ORANGE antifreeze. If you don’t put this crap into the cooling system, that blindingly read radiator light comes on in the dashboard.
In my efforts to show my Cal I halfway know something about cars, I will often refer to the owners manual of the car. You know, that book in the glove box that NOBODY reads, ayup, I read stuff like that. It is truly filled with lots of good information! I absolutely had to know WHY that light would not go away. My OCD was itching for it to go off and no matter what, it would not. Funny thing is, everything is fine in “the Buick.” Wow, get this, if you don’t put that orange stuff in the cooling system, you could see that light forever illuminated. Now I know that Buick and this company have an agreement but I will say it is not one of those things that are ride or die. I convinced Cal to drain the cooling system one day and we tried the fabled “special fluid.” Would you know that, just for a moment, that light went out? It came back on because we had yet to find the hose with the hole in it and we put the other stuff back in but, Oh. My. Gawsh. It had still not occurred to me that this whole “special tool” thing was legit.
Later, we were looking at a part we decided needed replacing and your run of the mill ratchet, wrench, pliers thing would not work. We gave up for the day and while eating pecans off the tree over the kitchen trashcan, (Ok, did I just sing to the tune ♫♪chestnuts roasting on an open fire♪♫ but instead said ♪♫pecans fresh off the tree over the trashcan♫♪??? Ya, I did and it was horribly out of tune.) I had a moment. I nearly cried for I had found that connection and discovered that I MAY BE my mothers child. “Calvin, maybe we just need a special tool to reach that bolt.”
I said that and it was out in space and there was NO taking it back. Wow. I just stood there for about five minutes realizing what I had JUST said and it was a pill to swallow. Of course all Cal would do is just shake his head. He is one of the bonkers type that i mentioned before. Again I opened my mouth and said a random thought out loud. “Ha! I could write about THAT huh?” For once, he agreed.
I know believe that I have a full understanding of the whole “special tool” conundrum and where it manifest. Glad I came to that now. I get to call her and tell her about it. Na, I’ll just tuck this away in my book and let her find it on her own. She will LOVE that.
Love ya Cal! You are my rock!
Love ya Mom! I know am convinced I was not adopted! 🙂
What do YOU think?