The authorities came for the stove today. (They are out to kill me Part Three)

I was not expecting such a quick conviction and sentencing. I was prepared to deal with the villain for another month at least. To my surprise, my dear Cal made arrangements for the authorities to come and take the stove away a month early. Whats better, I did not have to wait for it to camp out in the yard for a few days with its bags packed. They authorities brought the new “friend” in and hauled ole mean fire away. I must say, best Valentines Day Ever! (It is not over yet! Cal is taking me to see “Fifty Shades of Grey” Oh. My. Goodness! **so she says in her Shirley Temple voice.** So, yes, it is GONNA BE GREAT! Ah, but I digress.)

Another thing that made it bittersweet for me was that I was allowed to uninstall the plug from the old stove. Yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that I used gloves this time and was properly grounded. While I didn’t need to be, the TV taught me a valuable lesson…the HARD way! Ick! Thinking about the TV trying to take me out just made my whole upper body hurt. Remember when it nearly fried me? Yeah. This is where I get into the whole be independent but don’t make your man feel like an azz thing. Women, you need to know how to do things on your own sometimes. Your honey may be sick and unable to complete the “honey do” list and there is a pressing matter that you can do for him. While you don’t do it ALL, you do the one thing and let him rest. He deserves it! Besides, who does all the heavy lifting, yard mowing, car work, and fix it stuff?  On top of that, they find it attractive when a woman can work basic tools and be slightly independent. Why do you think they cheer for the woman truck driver or think that Daisy Duke is so fine? Yea, she has a pretty set and a perfect body but know what makes her shine? It is because she can fix a truck with the best redneck mechanic in the deepest woods of Georgia.

Today I was the Daisy Duke of my house. Even the boyz were impressed! (As Momma walks around like a BOSS!) I do have to say that New Stove was not such a surprise as it just appeared. My Cal took me to the appliance store and told me to pick out what I wanted and he took care of the details. OK? I just did not know they were coming today. Well, until he woke me at 4 a.m. and told me that I had to get the wall behind the stove pristine because the stove was coming. He DID think I was going to be at work and that is why he woke me so early. (Sadly, we had a sick child and I had to remain out of work for the day. I NEVER miss work so you know she was not feeling well at all.) I scrubbed the wall. What I didn’t know was this: When we decided on the stove we wanted, the store clerk advised that it did not come with a plug. O.O Well, how in the SAM HILL was THAT supposed to work? Cal knew better and told the guy, “Eh, don’t worry about it, we got a plug.” At that moment, I vaguely remember watching him change the plug on the dryer once. Those hugemongous things are like bull chains. They also have two different ends and you have to have the right one for the right plug or it just wont work.

Happily, at 4 a.m. (yes, with coffee, there CAN be happy at ungodly in the morning,) I went about the task of scrubbing the hood and the wall behind the stove. I kept tripping over that damned plug and I just knew it was the stove trying to get its last laugh before it was to be removed from my life forever. While I technically could not fall in such a tight spot, it did annoy me. A lot! So I went and got my tool bag. (Appropriately pink, another present from my love because I am always fiddling with things and want to get in the way when he is working on stuff.) I said, “I will teach you to fluck with me Mr. Stove!” and I went about the process of taking the plug off to ready it for the new stove. Wow. Easy. Honestly, you do not have to be terribly mechanically inclined to do such a task. As long as you have the ability to remember where you disconnected this and where that nut or screw came from, it was not hard at all. Cal was sick this morning and it was not a big deal for me to take the plug off myself.

Mind you, when a woman fixes something, it is quite different than when a man does it. We stop, check Facebook, reheat the coffee, clean every corner so even the dust mites won’t have any dinner, rearrange half the world around the thing, and even attempt to put the old broken thing back together before the new thing comes for installation.

Enter stage front…the authorities. They came in as I was putting the cover over the now empty plug area on the back of the stove. They were surprised that it was me taking the plug off but they talked to Cal (who was still dreadfully ill) and he told them what door to bring in the new stove. Then they came in and took old Mr. Fire away.  They even loaded it on the truck. I think it put up a fight as they were putting it on the truck because the knobs were flying off and everything. Poor stove. He should never have committed assault with intent to kill. That’s what you get, villain. They brought in the new stove and left. Cal was still feeling a tad under the weather so I let him go back to sleep and I installed the plug on my own. The good thing was that it looked just like the old one so there was no question that I had it right. I installed the plug, plugged it in and walked around to the front of the stove.

The time on the clock was blinking.     Blink        Blink            Blink

I stepped back for a moment and admired my work. I tried the oven, it heated up. I tried each burner, heated up. I did it! Go me! I even went so far as to wake up Cal and show him my work. I was as proud as a toddler pooping in the toilet for the very first time. I was SHINING! Look what I had accomplished. Of course, because this is what I do, Cal leaned over and smooched my face and told me how proud he was of me. I did something on my own. Theoretically I can do a whole lot of his “honey do” list and make him a very lazy man. But I don’t. That is his thing. It is his contribution to the home. It is his husbandly thing. However, it makes him feel like he has accomplished something and that (gosh forbid) if something were to ever happen to him, he knows I would be able to handle business because I CAN do things like that. (It also gives him something to brag about to the fellas! 🙂 )  In my mind, it makes me his diamond in the rough. Yea, I am still his damsel in distress. However, this damsel can survive. (Using the Tool Time Tim Taylor voice like I always do when I “fix” something–Argh! Argh! Argh!)

New stove was all shiny and even has a light! Oh my gosh! I am a happy girl! I did the Snoopy Happy Dance today. Without further ado, here is what made my Valentines day a better day:

I did it! All by myself! Cal can rest when he is not feeling well!

I did it! All by myself! Cal can rest when he is not feeling well!


About emaylerocks

Work at home professional, author, wife, mother of many. I view the world in a slightly different way than the rest. They don't let me out much so I do have a lot of time to think. Speaking of that... What do YOU think?

Posted on February 14, 2015, in Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. You go girlfriend! I also fix all my own stuff.


    • I love fixing things. I am going to post later about the first time my step son realized women can actually do stuff like that. His mother was traditional and let Cal do EVERYTHING. That is ok but it makes life difficult when your other half passes on. I teach our girls to at least be self sufficient so they can be survivors.

      Liked by 1 person

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