Not only do I walk like Sophia, I am now the Police?
I am still reeling from the fact that I was told I walk like Sophia from the Color Purple. I guess I take it as an ultimate compliment because that makes me come across as if I am a member of the Slap a Blitch Quick Club. We all know I am a softie and would never…. Ah, but I digress. On the heels of being told that I am “Sophia, Sophia, Sophia,” I was accused of being a member of law enforcement.
Last night, I had a hankering for ice cream. After hours of trying to talk Cal into walking to the store, (Yea, you know I wanted to strut my Sophia walk.) he said to dress warm, we would take the motor cycle. It was only going to happen if I agreed to wear a back pack. I have yet to find a complete comfort zone riding a motorcycle and now he wants me to balance not only me but a backpack of groceries. Nice. (We always get more that the one thing we intend to go to the store to purchase.) Upon entering the store, I dropped the book bag off at the front counter while Cal went and did his thing on the other side of the store. I got my ice cream and other goodies to go with it. Then I decided to grab some peanut butter and jelly for the kiddos for their Sunday “fix it yourself buffet.” As I turned the end of the ice cream aisle near the back of the store, I noted my Cal was talking to some man I had never seen before. He was about midway across the store from me and the man kept looking at me as he was talking to Cal. I noted that there was a black coat and bag in the shopping cart the man had. He looked rather ragged and I could hear bits of the conversation passing between him and my Cal. All the while, the man kept nervously glancing in my direction.
I heard him lean into the Cal’s space and whisper something but I could not quite make out what it was. Cal looked at me and grinned sheepishly. As I neared the pair, the man turned around to me and nearly stood at attention and said “Good evening Ma’am.” I nodded my head in acknowledgement and Cal pipes in “Hey Babe!” to which my reply was “Sup Honey!” The man then began to look back and forth between us thoroughly confused. Cal then patted him on the back “Naw dude, that is not the police. That is my wife.” Cal and I immediately burst into laughter. I kept walking in the direction of the peanut butter and jelly on the opposite side of the store. I left them two to their shenanigans.
Cal was giggling and grinning like a cheshire cat when we later met at the front of the store. I asked him what was so funny and he told me that I was accused of being the police. (O.o) Police, huh? He said the man was trying to find out what he was shopping for as he was going to steal it for him and have Cal just pay him the money for the items. He told Cal that he was homeless and he and his family were living in the woods nearby. He honestly thought I was a police officer watching him to make sure he was not stealing. I don’t believe I was coming across as ‘I am watching you’ or ‘FREEZE SUCKA!’ I was just doing my stride across the back of the grocery store while carrying a little black basket. The things people assume these days.
This is the same store where I was kicked out because the manager actually thought I was someone else who had did something unscrupulous the day before. The manager came marching out of the back of the store (I was VERY preggers and had my 5 year old daughter with me) and demanded to know why I was there.
“I thought I told you to leave an never come back! How DARE you disrespect that!”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Didn’t you come in here yesterday and cause a scene already?! Get the hell out of my store and don’t you ever come back!”
“I don’t know what you are talking about lady, but you WILL NOT talk to me like that in front of my kids!”
I dropped my basked on the floor and left. My Cal later went to the store and asked what was going on. Come to find out, it was some other woman who was about 80 pounds LIGHTER than me and the manager had been mistaken. I can say she embarrassed me and stressed out daughter out. I understand that lady had put someone out (apparently over some big scene) but she was not wanting to start a scene with me especially since I was not whom she thought I was.
I swear this store has it in for me. My credit cards break the registers and take the whole system down, my loyalty card tells me I have made $5692 in savings for the calendar year on January 3 as well as the random scene that is caused only by my presence. Maybe I will finLly win the lottery if I buy my tickets elsewhere.
What do YOU think?