Category Archives: Randomocity

Daily Prompt: Pungent (The Light Fixture [Fiction])

via Daily Prompt: Pungent

“George, I told you never to remove the cover for that light. You don’t know what is up there.” Jasmine nagged. She was always nagging him about something. Whether it was touching the kitchen door knob with greasy fingers or not wearing his shirt right, it was always the same: NAG! NAG! NAG! Ah, but his life would be dull without that hen always clucking about something int he background. Am I right?  Any-who, it was dark in the bedroom and while things that went on in the bedroom were best done in the dark, sometimes you still needed to see. Remember what Mamma always said. “You are going to ruin your eyes reading in the dark like that!” Enough was enough, the light bulb had to be changed.

The house should be mentioned here. It was built around the turn of the 20th century and was suitably registered in the city’s record of historical places. They sure didn’t make houses like this anymore. The only sucky thing was that I had to file an application to paint a damn wall. I own this house, why should I ask permission to do something as simple as change the color of the wall? The world may never know. Now, the changing of a light bulb was something on the ‘have at it’ list and this was exactly what I was going to do. Nagged or not, I am going to do this!

The fixture was an oblong, oval thing that was quite the stinker to get off the ceiling. It was held in place by several screws and was almost a two man job. One was needed to hold it in place while the other was removing the screws. However, if you held you lip right, you could do it yourself. I knew that Jasmine was not going to help me so I did the thing myself. I nearly dropped it. As it was made of glass, it would likely have not survived the fall. However, with luck on my side, I was able to get the thing down unscathed. As I laid the dusty cover on the bed, Jasmine snorted at me something about having to was the bed clothes now that that filthy thing had touched it. NAG! NAG! NAG! Upon successfully putting the light cover on the bed I looked up. It was almost like looking back in time. The part of the ceiling which was protected by the fixture had withstood the test of time and must have been the same antique yellowish color that the house was originally painted in. There was a hole where the light had come down out of the ceiling and was hanging there, as if held in time. It didn’t even swing with the new air surrounding it. It could have swayed ever so slightly as some of the hot air escaped from the ceiling into our bedroom below it. It had a pungent smell that those of us with attics can only know. While I had only stuck my face up into the attic to see if there were any treasures up there, I found only that wonderful pungent attic smell.

After marveling at the time machine that I had found, I noted that the light fixture inside the cover was just as much as an antique as the rest of the house itself and this two-prong light that I was holding was not going to work. I had to purchase a standard light bulb. With the rest of the house pushed in on the wave of the future, a standard light bulb was not something that I had laying around. “Off to the store wench!” I said in my Scottish voice as I poked Jasmine in the ribs. She giggled and hugged me in only the way my Jasmine can do. She grabbed her keys and off to the store we went. Now, a trip to the store was always for more than what is intended. Those marketing freaks to a helluva job when it comes to enticing you to buy something more than what you went there for in the first place. So, it was going to be a while before we got back. I knew leaving the cover off would stir up some dust but figured it would be alright. I was gonna wrap this project up the minute we got back anyway.

Upon our return, I unlocked the front door. When I opened it a rather LARGE wasp floated out as the door swung into the house. Now, wasps are not small in their own sense but this thing was almost the size of a tennis ball. With concern, I told Jasmine to stay on the porch as I went in to investigate. Another thing that was out of the ordinary was that the dogs were going bezerk. They were put in their cage in the master bathroom just off our bedroom before we left. As per our custom. Thinking about that wasp, I grabbed the broom out of the foyer closet and cautiously made my way to the bedroom. What I seen when I pushed open the door could only be described in a dream…no…a nightmare.

From the light fixture were several of those same wasps hanging on the light bulb as if it were their nest. There were several others meandering around the room in a sleepy, flying gait, which only wasps do when it is this time of year. There were other things falling, no nearly pouring out of the hole in the ceiling. Leeches, bugs and…..turtles? Yes. I am sure of it. They looked like those sea turtles that were all laid back and hippie like in that movie with the blue fish. Funny, in this moment, that movie name escapes me. Weird how we forget things when faced with…things.

These things were all over the room. Upon taking inventory of what I was looking at, all the sound in the world came back to me. However, I could not figure out why. NAG! NAG! NAG! The primal scream which emanated from the hallway behind me snapped me back into reality. Jasmine! I turned to look and found her with inordinate fear written across her face. As if to make it more real, she had her hands up to her cheeks as if they were meant o put that scream in quotation marks. She was screaming “THE DOGS GEORGE! WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS!!??” Immediately I turned and made a vee line for the bathroom. Two of them were barking at the smallest one. She was covered in those leech things. I tried to open the cage and then heard a whisper in my head.

“They’re poison.” I paused for a moment. Where did that come from? Why was I not being touched by the things falling out of the ceiling? I knew I could not touch this dog. I was sad that it was lifeless and unmoving. However, these animals were like our family and saving 2 of 3 was what I had to do. I opened the cage and while one snapped at my fingers, I was able to snatch the other one out of the cage. The one whom I was unable to catch shot out of the cage and into the bedroom. A moment later, I heard Jasmine squee in delight as she made it to our Jasmine. I knew I had to get out of there. I still considered the third dog and grabbed a towel. It wrapped around my arm as I yanked it off the towel rack on the wall beside the shower. Again, I heard that voice in my head…whisperingly…”Nooo….They’re poison.” In that instant, a leech which had found itself on that towel landed on my arm. It sizzled and burned like acid! I scream and stumbled back. Falling into the tub, I grabbed the shower curtain and again, leaches landed on me with their sizzling, burning,. slimy skin. I swiped at them and got them off me. It was instinct. I faintly remember the dog still barking in my arms and she took off like a bolt when I fell into the tub. I remember hearing Jasmine outside call for her. It was likely that Jasmine was outside and seen that the one I had in my arms had made it outside. My turn to flee had arrived.

As strange as it may sound, the idea came to me that it was the house speaking to me. Why was it taking up for me but unleashing this horror into my home? And why turtles?  No time for that now, I had to leave. I got out of the tub, nearly falling 2 or 3 more times before gaining my footing and went for the bathroom door. The room had become covered. It was a living, breathing, MOVING room. I guess this house wanted the bedroom to be in the dark. Bugs give me the willies but in my adrenaline-induced state, I didn’t think about that. However, the brief pause at the bathroom door was likely to be my demise. The more I thought about my fear of the creepy crawlies, the more fear replaced the adrenaline. At this realization, the turtles began to speak to me in that creepy children’s voice…”Come on George! Let’s Play!” (Yea, I now know why I never liked children. Creepy little things.”

It was as if my feet were glued to the floor. I was paralyzed. Unable to move and feeling my throat closing in, I couldn’t even scream. All I could do was watch with horror as the things moving and churning in the bedroom where I spent many wonderful nights with the love of my life seemed to consume first my shoes, then my legs. They were making their way up my lower extremities with that sizzling, acidic touch. The brighter the pain and fear became, the more I swirled into blackness. In a fear induced high, I passed out fully believing I was drunk and was going to bed…for the last time. Funny how things work out when you have your last thoughts. My brain’s last transmission? Well, as the things in the room covered me and left only an impression of their body under their business, you can say it was:

“I was consumed with fear.”

Outside, in the front yard of our back-country home, miles from any neighbors, you could hear Jasmine in that nagging voice….”George? Georrrge?  GEORGE!”  Unbeknownst to her, George was unavailable at the moment. Suddenly, she could smell the pungent odor of the attic. Then, she noted turtles flapping their way out the front door. “Hi Jasmine! Let’s Play!”

What do YOU think?

 

Walking Down a Different Road…Poorly.

This title may not be what you think. I have found that I have grown tired of “just making it.” It weighs upon my mind a lot. I have also found that when you do finally start heading toward a point where you can do slightly more than “just make it.” The higher powers tend to see an opportunity to squeeze you for whatever extra it is that you have and put you right back to where you were to begin with. Yes, I tend to not write about things like this on my public blogs. However, writing is a form of release for me and today, I will, walk down a different road.

My family is not your typical american family when it comes to paying bills and debt. We are not drowning under credit card debt or a crushing mortgage. We have abstained from refinancing or taking out additional lines of credit against our house. While that may be the thing to do, I simply don’t feel it to be the right thing to get our bills paid when we can do it just fine without that. Borrowing from one source just to reduce the payments on another or to combing a bunch of nickle and dime things just does not seem like the thing to do. (Oh, Daddy, you should be so proud!) In hindsight, no credit card debt and the fact that we can pay our necessities without worry is great. We have TWO extra things that we have been working on to pay off over time but it is not so much that we have to struggle to make bills. These things are just to improve our credit score. Now that I think about it. I am only feeding into the corporate monster and living the Sheeple life by doing that. However, it seems to be necessary if we want to get ahead in any area of life like to purchase a new car. (Example only, walking is so much better for the environment.) Well, that will be over soon and we will only have to foot the bill for “necessaries” like power, water, mortgage, and internet. Yea, internet is a necessary. Well, at least until the world goes to heck in a hand basket. Then we can do away with THAT bill. Yay?

Still, none of the above is what weighs heavily on me. I think a lot about the vacations my parents took me on as a kid. Those were vivid memories which stood out against the bland backdrop of watching my previous year of school become a fading memory on the highways of this country. Remember, every ending school year meant that Daddy was going to sign a new contract with his company and they would ship up off to yet another state to live for the year while he straightened out the mess of a kitchen they sent him to. He provided for us and we had our vacations. I just never had any roots to grow until I became older. My roots are spread all over this country from coast to coast. Dry, brittle, and long forgotten, the things that stand out the most were the vacations. Maybe that was what they did to make up for uprooting me from potential friends and opportunities which could have been afforded to me growing up. Still, I would not have changed anything.

It’s not that our brood prevents us from taking a vacation. We have a support system and family who can watch the kids while we pick and choose or even watch the dogs while we are away. It’s the fact that, while this country tells you to make memories with your children, they put the financial portion out of the reach of the average person. The nuclear family has to make nearly $50, 000 a year to be able to put away something into savings and even then, you need nearly $5,000 to even think about a 3 day trip for a couple. Everything is taxed and everything is overpriced. When Reagan was president (yes, I know, cost of living, etc. BS to that,) purchasing a brand new car did not mean that you were taking out a note that was near the equivalent of the market value of your home. It didn’t cost $50 to PARK at a resort area only to again pay near the same PER PERSON to get in. Never mind the fact that you then have to pay just to breathe inside the park. Corporate greed, my friends. They try to make smiles only attainable for the extraordinarily rich and, frankly, I am tired of it.

On a different note, do you know why this country has become so fanatically engrossed in the fact that they love to watch the prepping shows and extreme couponing?  It is this: the poor are tired of being sucked dry and being pushed around by the rich. They remember the Great Depression and they know what it will take to hurt the rich. Not to assassinate or rob them. Let the stock market drop. Let the zombie apocalypse happen. Let there be some fantastic computer glitch that takes out the internet. Who is going to survive? Those of us who know what it is like to live without. Those of us who can survive on skill alone and not believe it to be the end of the world simply because your investments took a wrong turn. Snatch those comfy pillow out from under the stuffy rich who sit upon them and what do you have? Sniveling, snarling, rich bastards who believe they have just lost their entire world. Oh, sure, there will be a few who will move on and think that they can do it all over again. However, when the world goes to shit, their money is going to be nothing more than fuel for the fire. With their clean, unscarred hands and the inability to know how to do a hard day’s work, they will not last long. I can assure you of that.

OK. I feel better now. I put a foot on my soapbox and chewed the gum for a few minutes. Thanks for listening peeps. Oh, yea….

What do YOU think?

Beach Choppers Ain’t Got Nothing on Jet Noise

Gawsh, I miss jet noise.

Let that sink in for a moment. Jet. Noise.

When our youngest daughter was a toddler, we moved to Virginia Beach. We were lucky enough to have lived on former Oceana Naval Air Station base housing. Aside from the obvious, that year alone was one of the most interesting of my life. (Ah, but I digress. Jet Noise is the topic of the day.) Our duplex was situated literally at the end of a takeoff/landing strip on the adjacent air fireld. Literally! It was our house, the back yard, the service road, a fence, grass and then the strip. They rotated the strips in the air field so that some months it would be a landing strip and others it would be a take off strip. On the take off months, our daughter could wave at the pilots AND THEY WOULD WAVE BACK!

Some interesting things to note about Jet Noise

:

1.  Jets, at full power, are flippin loud!

2. When renting or buying a house in the vicinity of a landing strip, consider the waiver you sign acknowledging such very seriously.

3. Jet noise is impossible to talk over. If you are on the phone, even hiding in the center most closet of the house (and burying your head in the middle of the clothes) will not allow for an uninterrupted conversation when a jet takes off.

4. Jet noise pisses off your already possesed pomeranian.

Despite the deafening interruption to life several times a day, it was music every time. Patriotic. It even brought harmony to your heart. Sad to say, it is 12 years later and I still miss it. I miss it even more when I hear one of those snarky little beach copters flying right over our house. In the summer time, those gnats fly sometimes three deep. Annoying.

Before they posted a tourist stop up that put that flight path over our house, some of the local residents complained about the noise from the copters. I should have joined in on that wave. Busy bee copter noise all dayum day is a big bother to me. Certainly true when it makes me all nostalgic for Oceana. These people around here think those copters are loud? Nah…drip drip drop little April showers compared to a REAL bird.
To make my eyes well up even more? The local airport used to belong to an army air base back in the 50’s. The military still uses our tiny airport from time to time and the big cargo planes randomly come lumbering in. They are the only ones that fly so low you can almost read the serial number on the belly of the plane. The sight of these albatross planes make me wanna run outside and cheer. But then again, they are a more welcome, quieter,  reminder of a better place and a better time. I will take a low flying cargo plane over a beach copter anyday.

It took about 20 minutes to compose this blurb. Seven of those damn gnats flew shoobies overhead. Beach choppers.  Colorful helicopter wanna bes. Shoobs…leave the flying for real birds.

Gawsh I miss jet noise.

What do YOU think?

The TV is a screamer

I know (from marketing classes in college) that advertisers and TV stations make the volume louder on commercials to grab your attention. I am now wondering if they are making them even louder than before. My husband and I have to have the remote control as a permemant part of our snuggle/TV time. Watvhing a TV…volume up…volume down….volume up…..volume down….I hate it when the Tv screams commercials at me.

That is all I wanted to say…..carry on.

We have gained a fanclub

I was reminiscing with Calvin this morning about fishing in North Carolina. There were several ponds and rivers we would often visit. When we went fishing there, it was a whole day thing and we had a blast! Sadly, our places in South Carolina are limited. However, we still have a good time.

While on the second pass across the back of the pond, after talking about being followed by the cows at some of the farm ponds in North Carolina, I notice a big azz turtle watching us do our thing.  Cal said that the turtle followed him around the pond yesterday and he had been in our wake for about 45 minutes or more. Hrmm. A fan club huh?

I think so. Yesterday, Cal took some stinky bait with him when he went down to the pond. I say stinky because that stuff funked up the house for HOURS after he thawed it out in the sink. It didnt help the bait any knowing that it had been thawed and refrozen several times before this last trip. Even incense and air freshener didn’t kill the smell until late last night. Ah, but I digress, we are talking about fishing.  Yesterday, he took what was left of the stinky bait and tossed it into the pond where I am sure some scavanging fish or turtle happened upon it and decided to have a juicy picnic. Maybe it was this turtle “Waiting for something AMAZING to happen”  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTX51OzGndw –start around 1:00 That kid? Ya, its our turtle.)

Yea, the turtle followed us all the way around the pond. I know he was disappointed but I am certain that it has a memory and will do so again when we return.

Short post but thought it was a great fishing tidbit. What do YOU think?

I Learned My True Color Today

Went fishing this morning with the love of my life. This is why Friday’s are my favorite day of the week. It is my only day off and I get to spend the mornings with my Cal. Today, we decided to drag the entire pond behind the house. It took about 2 hours. I am certain it would have been longer but I have become impatient and I think the storms from the past couple of days have knocked most of the bugs out of the air and washed them off the banks. This feeds the fish and they are not interested in our lures. While it makes for a boring time of fishing, we get to talk and carry on. What is important to me is that we get to spend time together…alone…without the children. Any time we can take to be child-free is precious when you do not trust random people to watch your children and the nearest trustworthy relative is a 4 hour drive away. Yea, I know we have a teenager but our children are like all north ends of a magnet. They cannot get along and do so much better separated.

Ah but I digressed.

My intent is not about children but about fishing. My constant readers and fans know well that I am in an interracial marriage so I can carry on about the “color” jokes sometimes. (Remember how “colored popscicles” got me in trouble and ended up having my supervisor use it to laugh at one of my co-workers? Yea. Like that.) Let me give you some background about how I came to the conclusion “I learned my true color today.”  When you see people do crazy stuff on television, most of the time, it is white people doing X-games stuff or just plain craziness. Outrageous, extraordinary, kill-yourself, stupidity is not something that black folks tend to do. While they do have their own silliness, it is nothing like jumping off the side of a rock cliff in a squirrel suit and hoping you don’t catch a bad wind gust only to become bugsplat on a rock face. Black folk silliness is never anything like that. Also, when you see someone run off scared, they are “white as a ghost.” After this morning, I have found that I am both white as can be as well as black. (Ya, that is honorary, I am an HONORARY black person because I married a Miles and I am still here after 20 years. 🙂 ) It takes a certain kind of person to live with a Miles and have the intestinal fortitude to survive it and stick around. This is why I am confident in my marriage because no one can handle my beloved Cal like me! This man was made just for me! (Yea, I digressed. It is TRUE!)

About halfway around the pond, there are 2 options. You can cross the rock cropping near the end of the pond, or you can go up to the road and cross over the bridge. Being that my fishing license had expired and I was using artificial bait, I did not want to be seen by the game warden or reported by a passerby for walking the bridge holding my fishing pole. I thought it would be best to try to cross the rock cropping. Not long before I had reached the cropping, Cal had lovingly warned me to watch for snakes. I was already doing so, with it being snake season and, we were walking in ankle high grass. I thought I could make it because the rocks were big and I called myself being able to see around them. He was far enough behind me where, even if he said anything, he would not be able to help and there was running water near me that was creating enough background noise that I wouldn’t have heard nothing more than his voice making noise. About halfway down to the inlet where the water was coming into the pond, I looked down and seen the middle of a snake snuggled down in between the rocks about a foot in front of me. Immediately, I did an about face and ran back up the side of the embankment. What took me almost five minutes carefully choosing secure rocks to step on, I confidently say I was out of there and back up on the grass in about  fifteen (15) seconds.

I looked over at Cal and all he did was give me a thumbs up.

Confused, I turned and took the bridge anyway. I safely made it back to the pond’s edge and resumed fishing AFTER my heart stopped racing and trying to jump out of my nose. I can say that the part of the snake I noticed was only about 6 inches long but that sucker was nearly 2-3 inches wide and I could CLEARLY see the scales on that flucker. I was NOT going to hang around to see how long it truly was and I am thankful it was not moving nor that I was able to see either end of it. It can happily stay right were it is in the rock outcropping and continue to bask in the warmth of the rocks from the day before. When Calvin (smartly) came across the bridge and started fishing near my location, he told me what he was thinking as he watched me attempt to walk across the rocks.

“I kept saying to myself…no no no no….don’t go down there in snakeville! No! But the next thing I knew, you got the hell up out of there! What were YOU thinking!”

(Of course I wanted to say ‘HEY! That is MY line!’ but no, I let him have that.)

Now, where do the colors come into play?  I was white for trying to cross the rock outcropping. Only a dumb azz white girl like me would try to do something like that in the middle of the summer when it is blazing hot. Yes, it is in the dead middle of snake season and I should know better. I have nature smarts and I have seen my share of snakes and other critters on previous fishing trips. Duh!  I was black for zipping up the embankment as fast as I did. In my family, it is the black in you that gets you the heck outta dodge whenever something starts to go wrong. A snake? Well, have you ever seen a black american snake charmer? Yeah, me neither.

So yes, I was reminded of my true colors today.  I am definitely white. But on the inside, I am black. However, I can assure you I was “white as a ghost” there for a minute after seeing that snake.

Open Wide

What do YOU think?

Meet “Earwrekka” and “Ischmoka”

Yes. My dogs are the guinea pigs for what ever funny thing I happen to come up with. My “Wogginator” experiment did not go as well as I planned. But it opened up an entire world of possibilities. Every thing that looks like it can fit on my tiny girlz heads is fair game.

Now our Roxie is old and if she doesn’t see me coming, I can include her in the fun. Otherwise, she shows me her toothy smile wich tells me thats enough. I get it. Not everyone wants a glamorous photo shoot. This whole process is a new thing to her because I never had this kind of fun until Mollie came along.

Without further adoo, here is “Earwrekka” (aka Roxie) She loves to eat all your food and sleep on your couch. She demands you to wait on her hand and foot and will eat your face if you get too close to her twinkies. She love playing fetch and wantd her dood to paint her nails every week.

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I also want to inyroduce you to “Ischmoka” (aka Mollie) she likes to lick GRAVY! (Haha, inside joke.) She also likes tug of wars. When she is not “hangin out in da islands mon” she is pulling the stuffing out of her comforter. Her turn offs are peanut butter and anything that is not specifically her dog food. Wann share a schmoke with her?

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What do YOU think?

Meet “Earwrekka” and “Ischmoka”

Yes. My dogs are the gunea pigs for what ever funny thing I happen to come up with. My “Wogginator” experiment did not go as well as I planned. But it opened up an entire world of possibilities. Every thing that looks like it can fit on my tiny girlz heads is fair game.

Now our Roxie is old and if she doesn’t see me coming, I can include her in the fun. Otherwise, she shows me her toothy smile wich tells me thats enough. I get it. Not everyone wants a glamorous photo shoot. This whole process is a new thing to her because I never had this kind of fun until Mollie came along.

Without further adoo, here is “Earwrekka” (aka Roxie) She loves to eat all your food and sleep on your couch. She demands you to wait on her hand and foot and will eat your face if you get too close to her twinkies. She love playing fetch and wantd her dood to paint her nails every week.

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I also want to inyroduce you to “Ischmoka” (aka Mollie) she likes to lick GRAVY! (Haha, inside joke.) She also likes tug of wars. When she is not “hangin out in da islands mon” she is pulling the stuffing out of her comforter. Her turn offs are peanut butter and anything that is not specifically her dog food. Wann share a schmoke with her?

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What do YOU think?

Easter Bunny was late?

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While waiting in the pharmacy line, Numba Seven and I were clowning around. His eye happened upon something under the aisle shelving. He discovered a decorative egg. Um..wally world…it’s a little late to hire the Easter Bunny. Mmmkay?

What do YOU think?

Easter Bunny was late?

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While waiting in the pharmacy line, Numba Seven and I were clowning around. His eye happened upon something under the aisle shelving. He discovered a decorative egg. Um..wally world…it’s a little late to hire the Easter Bunny. Mmmkay?

What do YOU think?

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